Deliver Me Part 2

I was watching the show Deliver Me again and got to thinking back on my delivery and my experiences. I tend to be a pretty nervous, anxious person so looking back I am somewhat amazed that I was able to remain so calm through out the whole experience. They said on the show tonight that women who had what I did can have up to a 15 percent mortality rate. Wow, I am really glad that nobody told me that when I was pregnant. I saw many moms come and go on the ante partem ward where I was there over the holidays which can cause more depression, but really that never hit me like it did the others. Andrea and my mom and dad got me a tree, and we had presents and I didn't have to holiday shop (which was a bonus). I was able to make alot of friends who were going through the same thing as me, and was surrounded by world class doctors, which was a blessing (some of which are pictured above). We knew at 28 weeks that I was most likely going to go early and that every day that I could squeeze out would be the best, so the fact that I was able to go 34.5 nearly 35 weeks was amazing. But now as you can tell from some of my blogs the anxiety as a parent has really set in, and I am assuming that this never goes away. I remember right after delivering Sage and hearing that she was fine I looked at the anestesiologist and saying, I am ready for my Valium now, which I think really helped me wait the 5 hours to see her after she was born. Man I wish I could do that now...lol...I've never really been a very religious person, I have always had the belief and faith, but now I truly believe in miracles, and her name is Sage.