Deliver Me

So I have been watching a new series called Deliver Me on high risk pregnancy's. If I was still pregnant I would not want to watch it, but since I went through the high blood pressure and gestational diabetes, 2 weeks of hospital bed rest, a premature SGA (small for gestational age) baby, and 9 days in the NICU, in a weird way it gives me comfort to see that other people go through the same thing I went through, and every time I look at my chubby cheeked little girl I cry (as I am right now) to know how hard we both faught to get her here.

In retrospect, I guess I didn't really know the severity of what could have happened to both me and her. We did daily NST's while I was in the hospital and she was never really reactive on the trace so they would always do a BPP and she would always pass (movement, breathing and fluid). But I didn't really realize how tight of a rope we were walking between determining when it would be safer to get her here. Thank God that I had world class doctors watching after me. The day of delivery the doctor (who had never seen me before) decided we couldn't wait anymore and within a half an hour I was in the delivery room. Our family all had to rush up to Seattle from Olympia which is an hour drive, and this was our 3rd time we thought I might deliver. I thought I would be more nervous about delivery, but I was really really calm. All the doctor's joked with me that I knew so much about delivery and babies after my stay at the hospital that I could probably do it myself. After she was born and Jeramy told me that she was a girl, I didn't hear her cry before they took her to the NICU but the neonatolgists told me that she was fine. In recovery Jeramy brought me a video of her, but she was really jittery from my blood pressure medicine that it really scared me until I was able to hold her in my arms nearly 4 hours later. Having a baby in the NICU is really an immediate push into parenthood, and like Baby Boot Camp. Within hours of having a C-Section I was taking the elevator up to the NICU. You don't have time to sit back and relax and visit with family, instead you are learning about all of the charts and monitors. We were fortunate to have such a strong baby. She didn't need any feeding tubes or breathing tubes and didn't have any issues. She was one of the smallest babies they ever sent home (3 pounds 12 ounces) and every one was amazed at how well she was doing. But leaving behind her neighbors who had already been there for months and had months to go, or sitting in the waiting room during the nurses shift change with the other mom's whose babies were born at 23 weeks really gives you such a lesson in faith and strength.

Everyday I look at Sage, I thank the lord that she is here safe and sound. I remember telling Jeramy and my family what to do incase I didn't make it, so when I look at her chubby little cheeks I am amazed at her fighting spirit and that I brought her into this world despite all of the challenges that we faced. And God bless my husband who drove back and forth our house and the hospital with my endless list of comforts from home that I needed, and slept on the uncomfortable bed next to mine because I was scared for him to be too far away, and for being such an amazing father to our daughter. I will always remember him taking a syringe to get every last drop of collostrum that I was pumping and literally running it up to her. We are truly blessed!