Monday, July 13, 2009

Murphy's Law

Isn't Murphy's Law, "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong" I feel sometimes like that is my life motto. I had my surgery last Tuesday, the cancer part looked good and they got it all, but I got news I wasn't really expcecting. The Doctor said the scar tissue was so bad she could hardly see around with the scope. My uterus was attached to the wall of my c-section scar and my left ovary was "impressively" stuck high up on the side wall of my abdomen in an unusuall way. Hard to tell what caused all of this, but endometriosis would be a good guess. With scar tissue it is a horrible circle, the more surgery you have, the more scar tissue you get. The doctor was amazed that I was able to function without being in excrutiating pain the way my organs were attached. So I have a surgery scheduled for August 18th to have a partial (left ovary and uterus) 29 years old!! Hopefully the right ovary will stay for a long time so I don't have to get hormones or go into menapause. Luckily I have a husband that before all of this happened, and I agree, didn't want more kids. With how rough my first pregancy was, we weren' willing to risk it again because we have a beautiful daughter at home. We had toyed around with getting my tubes tied or his, but then this all happened, and it looks like God had other plans for me. So even though we weren't planning on it, the simple fact that we can't feels different. No more first food, haircut, laugh, walking and crawling, etc. It doesn't make me feel like I want to rush out and have more kids, that part is the same, but the simple fact that I can't beat my health and that my health is now dictating my life, kind of makes me mad. I know there is nothing I can do, but it still sucks. I am not scared about the surgery as I am an old vetran by now, just the finality of what is going to happen. Poor Jermay...I keep saying, what if you leave me for someone with all of her femal reproductive parts to have more kids, and I never can. He just laughs and calls me crazy saying he'd never leave and that he was perfectly happy with the family he has. I am so lucky to have such an understanding husband and father! The recovery time for this surgery is 6 weeks....which is going to be interesting with a toddler running aound. I haven't been able to lift Sage for a week with this surgery and it has been a pain. Thank goodness for my parents also, who had Sage several days.
I guess the good news is, they finally found why I was in so much pain, and know I wasn't just making it up, and we have a plan to try and fix it. So with luck, I will be pain free after all of this goes away, and the mother to 1 really special little girl with an Amazng husband and tons family. I just have a severe case of the blues right now..:o( least I have our Hawaii trip to look forard to at the beginning of November!


Heidi said...

Mia, hang in there. We all love you soooo much!The blues thing will pass. The thing I always do is remember how thankful I am to have my wonderful husband and my kiddos. You have an awesome husband and a beautiful little girl. Those two things alone will get you through anything! We'll be praying for you. We'll probably see you in a few weeks. We love you Mia.

Em said...

Hey, Hawaii!! Yay! lol. I know that's probably not enough to make ya smile yet, but hopefully in a short while it will be. Love ya!

Katy said...

I want to go to Hawaii! Like I said before Em and I can rent a 15 passenger van, our kids will scare the blues right out of ya! Love you! :)